Friday, December 11, 2009

What do you live for?


4:49 PM; noMUSIC; noLIFEY

Friday, November 27, 2009

nt many ppl knew wat happen to me these few days.
lets just say, i got into trouble with health..
and now..
parents are stopping me from sports n eating meat for awhile..
im having MAPCU this weekend..and it only comes once a year.
i wanna play so badly! i need VOLLEYBALL! its my passion
sigh..please..let me cure..
ill die playin vb if i have to..

neways..today went out for movie with merlene n her parents..
abit awkward la.
first time doing such things..
but it was ok la..watched christmas carol again..
"SOMEONE" was snoring! wahhahahaa..dunwan say who..
the "someone" read den wil realise can d..
tmr another movie?
been watching dam alot of movies lately..
hmm..

ps: when we taking our nxt picture larh ass?



11:14 PM; noMUSIC; noLIFEY

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

today was really fucked up..
we were on our way back after having lunch with julie,mandy n merlene when suddenly i felt this fucking sharp squeezing hammering pain in my chest..
i asked julie to rush to me guardian first..i taut it was heartburn, i went down grab 1 pack of gaviscon n drank it on the spot...
few minutes later, i couldnt breathe properly..
rushed to a near by clinic where i think the doctor is gay..
neways..he told me the pain i have is the same pain when someone having heart atck? wtf? m i tat weak now?
sigh..
MAPCU is a few days ahead..i hope i can play..i want to play..
neways..thx julie for helping me out..thx ni,jie for caring..
it hurts so badly..
even now when im bloggin..
='(

10:36 PM; noMUSIC; noLIFEY

Saturday, November 21, 2009

well..wat a week i had..it was fun..yet tiring..

we're organizing this game event thingy coming up soon at our college...so if u like to know more, please do ask me for extra information on the event..

worked on thursday...blardy hell that kid name ivan...make me terasa ni..urgh..

neways..just got back from volleyball at UM..well..after few weeks or mayb months not playing or not being active in sports, injuries came back...but lucky for me..non of the real serious injury came back..and PIPI followed me there! sorry la..i noe...very sien watch me play hor..but sexy rite? ROFL!..neways..tmr is gonna be another hard day..training in the morning..frendly in the evening...gotta prepare..MAPCU coming up soon!

off to the bed now..goota rest my soul...

-inub-iwub-


1:29 AM; noMUSIC; noLIFEY

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

I've been fighting all these while. It has brought me nothing but suffering.
Deep inside, the pain that i go thru, is unbearable at times but yet, i make it thru.
The distance its bringing has no limit.
I can only stand from afar to say goodbye to u.
To say i'll forget you i shan't.

For dreams to come true, i shall put effort.
One once said that today's success are yesterdays thoughts.

Stupid is as stupid does.
I will not just stand here and wait anymore.
To leave a mark, to not disappear.
Allowing to be seen thru the thick facade of discourage.

The discomfort i suffer from putting myself in too deep will just not recover

Wait, i will
Cry, i should
Happy, i hope
Sad, i am
Smile, i fake




8:14 PM; noMUSIC; noLIFEY

Friday, September 18, 2009

i can be nice if i want to..

i can be bad if i want to..

but try keeping me on my nice side..

i dunwan to lose control of myself again..

not like last time..

the beast inside me is desperate to be summoned out..

lets all try to help me keep it that way..

im trying my best to be myself..

emo nemo no.1

be my fan n join me?

hurmmm..


12:14 AM; noMUSIC; noLIFEY

Thursday, September 17, 2009

sometimes i feel..

did i do something wrong..

am i guilty for all these things that has happened to me this year..

did i lose the one i taut i love was a right move?

did i lose a close friend just because of my careless msitakes?

but...after thinking..i realise that...



we are all just the same as one another..

we lose some...we get some..

we make mistakes...everyone does..

no one is perfect..

but it is our responsibility to face the fact that our mistakes has brought us such consequences...

we are humans..

we have individual minds and feeling..

the way we think,act and feel differ from many others..



just because i have done something wrong..

it doesnt mean i have to live in the past..

what we are today..

we shouldnt live in the past..

all that is important is what we are today..

dun look back at the past..

do not let the past take over u..

i've been teling myself this too many times..

yet i cannot fulfill it..

day by day..

i wish i can just grow stronger..



to love it takes time..

we do not expect someone to fall in love wit u just because u love that person..

to build trust is another thing..

we need to gain trust in order to trust people..

things i have done in the past n present has brought me so much pain..

and yet..

i try to grow out of it..

by learning from mistakes...

and by learning to forgive..



saying sorry to someone..

it doesnt always mean askign for forgiveness..

sometimes..

its just a way of trying to make someone understand something..



things i blog about..

is about how i feel..

and im sorry if i offend people who read this post..

but we have to face the fact..

truth hurts..

how much it hurts, we still have to face it...

becase after all, it is the truth..



im sorry to this particular person..

i noe i've done terrible thigns to u..

things i wish i could take it all back..

but it seems that i'll nt be forgiven this time..

mayb i wil..

but it'll be hard..

i've lost u once..

i've lost u twice..

and now i'm losing u for the third time..



i just wish there was somethign i could do to save myself from this pain..

somethings we do..

we just want that someone to noe that we care..

i noe some people wish to live in their own world..

wishes for no one to care bout them..

but to care is a personal thign..



i can tell u..that i dun care bout u..

but truthfully speaking..

i care bout u more than anything..

and nothign will chg that..

i'll never take u as a friend who is just a passerby..

i trreasure our friendship..



other reason that affect my wrong doings..

is basically because..



i trully love u..



im sorry...



i just wish and hope for another chance...


12:41 AM; noMUSIC; noLIFEY

About Me

Name:Ivan

Age:19

Height:176cm

Weight:73kg

D.O.B:19th June 1990

Status:Complicated

School:Asia Pacific University College Of Inovation and Technology

[You can lie to anyone except yourself]


I Like

MILO
Saving paper by cancelling exams
Pink
Sports
Gaming
Music



I Hate

SCHOOL!
HOMEWORK!
EXAMS!


The time is....




Jukebox





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